Marwin Vs Bangkok

Ok for the past 48 hours I have learnt the following things about myself, Bangkok and life in general 
I'm smarter / more devious than I thought - a woman comes up to me and hands me 3 bags of corn and says they are good luck, I empty 2 bags on the floor for the pigeons and another woman comes up to me and says you need to pay 200 baht (£4) for the bags, I reply "I have no money and not used all the bags yet" so with the last bag I walk past the woman and "drop" the bag and disappear in a flurry shadow of pigeons!  So the bags were lucky after all! - Marwin 2 - Bangkok scammers 0 (ain't no one got time for dat!) 

Bangkok is beautiful - both historically and culturally, even though the upper and east side are modern, they still remain intact and spiritual, even I had a little prayer, "may I never meet another wanker" which was my prayer / wish. Local people are helpful and fun - yes I've even managed to chat, laugh and flirt here with no problem.......... TRAMP! 

Thailand is cheap - that’s all, £3 for a meal and drink, take that wagamamas!

The western world is lucky and spoilt - the fact we've not suffered major natural disasters, recent wars (unless you count the war on drugs but most of us are pro-choice on that) and poverty we still whinge if a modern convenience is not operating I.e. smartphone, try being here squatting over a hole, with no Wi-Fi and flies in your pad Thai!

Overnight trains are the best - you get to drink, look at the scenery and not have to move from your seat when someone makes your bed, bad side the toilet looked like it was made in the 1890s, just a steel hole onto the tracks BLEURGH!

Hostels out rule Hotels - it’s cheaper, you meet more people, it's surprisingly cleaner and  the bar is more diverse not just rich gormless tourists and business brats! Already enjoying the sights, well the guy opposite me in the dorm room!

Just to contradict myself  for the last few paragraphs, you can have a fancy movie like date - didn't think it would happen to me but I actually had a date which basically could have been in a rom com, got chatted up while waiting for a tut-tut, taken on a motorbike (1st time ever), cocktails in a swanky high rise restaurant, cake in a quirky cafe (themed on Alice in wonderland) and taken to a very exclusive looking pad by a French man who looked like the love child of Heath ledger and jay Kay from Jamiroquai.  

Cultural difference are apparent outside Europe - so for the first 4 days I've been alone in some sense, I've spoken to people but no new fb or phone friends, even when sat in the bar, everyone was sitting in their nationalities or friend groups, since I'm the only gay black man for miles, I had a table to myself, if my Samsung was white covered it would have sat on the other table it's that segregated! Despite point 7 I still make friends - hello hostel friends or is that hostile friends eek! My raw animal sexual magnetism only attracts, women over 40, teen girls (and boys) weirdos aka twinks and now ladyboys - just call me "Bond, Black Bond"


Anyway ladies and gents, hope you enjoyed this read, the travel plans have hit a bit of hitch as my flights are being changed so only spending 2 more weeks in SE Asia so missing some stuff off so it's now, Thailand islands (2 days), Malaysia (2 days) Singapore (3 days) Vietnam (4 days) and Thailand for a day before heading to AUSTRALIA! But I wasn't even meant to be in SE Asia really so this is just a bonus! 


Travel Tips - when travelling overland, train is the best, only £21 from Bangkok to Krabi or straight to Singapore is £45 that's same day cost as well :) yes 3 countries for £45, whatever first great western!
When in Krabi expect to be hustled from one bus to another and then charged £1-2 for transfers (even though the transfer from the train is free), be careful who you book with!

Krabi best place to stay is called Pak Up Hostel, nice, snazzy and with fun staff, plus cheap drinks! If you need to change flights with STA be warned, you have limited availability during August- October, after my September flight to Oz the next flight was the end of October and was an additional £163, uh HELL NO!

If you are black and flying solo, prepare for a lot of stares from locals and tourists alike, yay!

Peace out, happy hour is calling :)

Shell Fossil Beach

BLEURGH!

Krabi and. Malaysia

Well people in Thailand have taught me a lesson, and that is....... I'm no longer a 20 something that could drink a stereotypical Irishman and Russian under the table! I pretty much spent most of the 3 days, in a daze, first night I got so drunk after playing the circle of death with some northern girls, I ended up going for a 2 mile walk to find food and ended up going to a Late night market where I made friends with the locals and played football with the kids. I'm surprisingly nice to kids when I'm drunk almost like a primary school teacher, I even taught them the Usain bolt pose!

The next morning I just about made my trip to the 4 island, went to tup island, Poda Island, see island, phranang cave and wait for it......... Chicken Island! Good god lemon, not a KFC in sight. So misleading! Go on this tour or the phi phi island tour its £8 for the 4 island one and £12 for phi phi but only go one way and stay in phi phi and pretend you are Leo di cap!

Loads of pics to follow but sure I'll out them on Facebook!

Anyway, my second night in the Pak up hostel, which is probably the best hostel I've stayed in so far, so, if you go island hopping avoid Phuket, as I was told it was a place old Pervs pick up young girls!

So went off there anyway second night, I played circle of death but with 4 of the most gorgeous Norwegian men I have ever seen, it was amazing until I got the 4th king and pretty much drank a night out in reading in one jug! BLEURGH!

The rest is a blur but let's just say I am missing a vest and pair of shorts due to number 3!

I spent my 3rd day being sick and cursing those sexy Norwegians, but I got a number so not that bad!

After that I got a coach /train to journey to Malaysia!

There really isn't anything to say here I spent most of it on a train really, when I arrived in Kuala Lumpur from Krabi. I spent nearly 8 hours in the centre and just ate and drank but stayed up, as I had an early night and thought why pay for a hostel for a couple of hours. This was my first mistake, always opt for sleep and warmth. Second mistake was taking the tuk tuk of the drunk guide, after 10 seconds of being in it, I realised I was going to die due to a man that smelt of cheap whiskey!

Anyway that was Malaysia wish I stayed longer but if you go to the next page you'll see why I wanted to get to Singapore......

Travel tips

if you go to Krabi head to Pak up hostel (http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g297927-d1945884-Reviews-Pak_Up_Hostel-Krabi_Town_Krabi_Province.html) , which basically has everything you need to climatise to western humanity again

Never opt a late nighter for a quick hostel stay, your eyes and legs will hate you the next day!

Check "man in seat 61 " website (http://www.seat61.com)  for details on train and bus, he always recommends train for SE Asia but he does other countries and some places they give you discount if you mention the site.


Personal tip - Don't get suckered into drinking games if you are over 25, even if you are surrounded by dreamy hunks that find your accent cute! Avoid and just perv instead!

If you use the lonely planet guide, don't take it to heart, the guys who write this obviously haven't been for a while and survive in more money than other travellers; you can always find cheaper places/food etc.

When you get to Pak up hostel don't eat in any of the restaurants all the places have women with faces of thunder, walk down the steep hill and go to the market or go down the gentle slope to the 7-11 for cheese toadies which they cook for you there and they cost like 27p YUM! Don't have the pork one it tastes like chocolate, yes I know bizarre.

When booking excursions sometimes the hostel one is more convenient but more expensive however they were kind enough to come to your room and wake you up, the one I booked from across the road obviously didn’t. Good thing I had a toastie from the night before stuck to my face for breakfast. 

Welcome to Chicken island