Before the Russians invaded!

30. Jul, 2014
18. Dec, 2013

Right, this is going to be basic as this stupid website deleted my very detailed and "funny" dissertation on the ins and outs of Vietnam. So for now look at lonely planet books on Vietnam and insert an inane joke or innuendo part way through paragraph and you're pretty much there, with my blog for my favourite place in SE Asia.


Ok here's my attempt, my memory isn’t quite what it is so trying to remember things from 5 months ago, so this is more of eye opener for me than it is for you.

Vietnam Hanoi

All I can say is WOW! The whole 5 days I was here I never thought of a place that has been shrouded in devastation and political warfare, could be so welcoming and beautiful.

I get off the plane and already accosted by a taxi driver however he took my bags, was gone for 10 mins. I was pretty much scared he’s taken my bags and forgotten I was a passenger or he’s made a new life with all my stuff which wouldn’t make any sense as he was tiny and was better dressed than I was anyway.

To my surprise, he came back and said he went to the toilet and passed me a bottle of water saying I’ll need it, how considerate of him. If he got it from the toilet how Vile…Who cares I’ve lost weight from drinking all this dodgy water might as well go for Wayans brothers in the 90s skinny look!

So it’s was a taxi that took 45 mins to my destination; Hanoi Backpackers Hostel (Thanks SAge for the tip) which was so handy as it was right in the middle of the city and near most of the museums, travel agents, the lake and other attractions. The hostel was basically what I imagine an Australian beach bar to look like but its infested with Europeans, who have been in flip flops for so long they’ve decided to cover their feet in bandages not actual shoes! (come on, common sense should have been packed when you started this journey).


Now in true traveller style I decided to explore the city and let’s just say I had a sharp reminder as to why I need to forget my UK street smart, as they don’t apply to this part of the world!

Let’s just say a quick 1 hour walk to gain my bearings turned into a 3 hour hike, so if you need to know where the police station, non-commercial markets and the motorway is, give me a ring I found them all!! This quickly turned into panic, as I didn’t charge my phone and I completely forgot the address, thankfully I pretty much walked backwards (in one street I literally had to do this). I noticed a group of white dudes I saw in the same area as the hostel and followed them. ERROR number 3 I ended up in a bar nowhere near the hostel but thankfully they pointed me in the right direction…… just another 45 minute hike to home!

After the “Hike” I had to have a drink and dinner at the hostel and for the cost of 6 GBP I got a 2 x beers and some of the best stir fry I’ve ever had in my life, good Zod I wanted to burst into the kitchen and make love the chef right there and then, oh it’s a woman, oh well I’m happy and full, I'm open minded, who cares?!

The night is looming and I’m feeling tired until I hear that it’s FREE SHOTS every hour on the hour from 7-midnight, let’s just assume I was a responsible adult and went to bed, for a minute….

Right minute over I clearly didn’t do that I last remember being surrounded by group of Brits talking about Man U, Rugby and awkwardly flirting with a woman that reminded me of the Appleton sisters (yes believe me its gets more bizarre after that). I even had an encounter with a guy that after I told him my "preference", he went coy and eyed up the nearest drunken slut and after a massive fail, he came back to me and mentioned about him being Bi and grabbed my ass. I hope he enjoyed his hand shandy that night, while I spoke to the drunken slut and we had a great time laughing at him!

Right the next few days belong to Halong Bay so bust a groove to that section


Ok back readers, I spent the next day before heading back to Thailand again in my room trying to sort flights, doing this goddamn blog and refraining from being socialable.

Oops someone said the two words which make me weak at the knees “happy hour” I think I might be an alcoholic, I have a problem……. I RAN OUT OF ALCOHOL!!

So last night went out with a bang met some crazy people especially from Canada & Chile – you know who you are! All I can say and remember, is me in a bizarre hat sat on a child stall talking to a bunch of French and German people and giving my world views and despite how borderline racist it sounded I got loads of laughs, Drunk Marv Rocks! Next the stage……..

Oh well back to travelling, next stop is Thailand but I’m there for 24 hours not even that and I spent it in a hotel which tested my patience and my lungs, key word people afford any hotel in Thailand that says “GRAND”, that’s false advertising right there!

Peace out, see you in Sydney @:0) - thats me smiling with a mini afro or a hat with a rose in it! 


Travel Tips

Take a charged phone and avoid thinking one street will lead to another!

Book Hanoi Backpackers Hostel. -

Check out the lake it’s got a mini museum in the middle which you need to pay for but more info on link

Avoid this hotel in Thailand at all costs; sleep in the airport if you have to

Good place for ideas on what to do in Halong Bay -