Insert Katy Perry Birthday song here......
OK, so it’s been 2 years since I set off for the exotic and mesmerising sights of SE Asia for leg one of this journey, chasing a dream I didn’t know …. I’m now in the dizzying heights of Coventry with a northern hunk, how life dealt me a weird yet spectacular hand.
Just so I don’t infringe on any data protection acts, it was basically YAK’s birthday in the past fortnight, yes I’m still on my bid to hide the people I love from the internet, like a cyber-version of Spiderman but less whiny!
So with the magic of words and ill placed photos I shall take you on the Journey of Brown Bear and YAK’s Colossal Coventry City Celebration……
I arrive at the train station, YAK arrives to pick me up, we are instantly lost since my GPS wasn’t working and YAK drives in a random direction, this is the norm for us :), funnily enough, the hotel Ibis (http://www.accorhotels.com/gb/hotel-2793-ibis-coventry-centre/index.shtml) was 4 minutes from the train station, oops!!!
I would recommend this hotel it’s a short walk from the main town, cheap and surprisingly nice, if you a 5* snob you’ll be bored, to everyone else this place is great. The staff were cool and the room was surprisingly big and the drunks amongst us, it has a 24/7 bar, enjoy, mine is a ginger beer please, cheers. So the reason for the visit is for YAK’s Birth fortnight and the joy on his face when he unwrapped his presents and licked my lemon sponge (not a euphemism). I know this has nothing to do with travel, I just like to point out I made a cake from scratch and it didn’t kill anyone. It was neither poisonous nor morphed into a radiation monster, so we have a first!
Before I say what we did, here’s what I was told by Smother about the city, since she was a frequent visitor:
And that was it, and to be honest, I may have to defy my Smother and have to disagree….. Why do I hear lighting and thunder? Anyhoo, at best it is OK! From the first 30 minutes amongst the town people I can say that it seems like a mixed bag of people, if the people were to be represented by a product, I would say like a bag of broken biscuits. Such a broken community but it works oh so well and you don’t mind the haphazard quality.
Now, this city is famous for several things such as Lady Godiva, A Cathedral, St George the dragon slayer, British car industry and Chuck Berry “My Ding A Ling” Song. So in short Coventry is known for inappropriate sexual tones, religion and ye olde legends.
Coventry is a hidden “gem” of cultural and industry…. Let’s go for cubic zirconia class. While walking around the place, we noticed something strange and appealing about the place, everything is hidden. You walk down one street with the world’s biggest imperial NatWest bank is located and then looks like nothing else is there. You go down one side street and before you know it you are transported to a vast 1980s built, open air, shopping centre. This city is weird.
I still can’t find any words to describe this place, so my career as a writer should end now. I’ve been to a desolate Bundaberg, awe-inspiring Queenstown, Vivacious Vancouver and Coventry. There’s not even an adjective to go with it. I put “colossal” earlier to be ironic but the only other fitting word would be “compact” “confusing” or “criminally overrated”.
I will say this with every city or town that has a mixed bag of people you will get some positive variation which we were treated to at several points, a market stall with Japanese so good it should replace Wagamamas, a handful of cultural places and a Starbucks on the corner of the market square just primed ready for people watching. Believe me when you people watch here, you really get into it!
I’m going to recommend this city for cultural vultures who want a pit stop before Bristol or Birmingham, so technically you’ll be museum magpies.
Little story here, after myself and YAK walked around the town, we decided to head over to the Cathedral, he had his iPhone at the ready and we (and I mean royal “we” aka YAK) got distracted by a Primark and then a Wetherspoons 5 minutes into the walk. I’ll say that again, A Primark took us off course then followed by Wetherspoons! Let that sink in people……
We came for fun, culture and edumacation and ended up in two places you could get anywhere in the UK. Normally I would get irritated about this and want to finish what we started but my love for this man outranks my insistent need to educate myself and want to look erudite. This man could take me off course anywhere and I wouldn’t mind, Love you YAK xx
So day 2 of the trip we decide to actually do the cultural thing and despite my little snips at Coventry, I will give it some praises, the museum, galleries and cathedral are worth the visit for two reasons:
- They are actually of good quality
- They are free (I think this is the main reason)
Now for the below section in honour of YAK, the below section is written in “Yorkshire/Lancashire” talk although some general “above Nottingham” phrasing may seep through. Bonus points if you can read this out loud!
Right lads; let’s get ta educating ourselves like that git from Educating Yorkshire, what a load of bollocks that wer’. We all know Yorkshire is educated, look at Patrick Stewart and The Chuckle Brothers, that’s smarts for ya!
Nnnooo Brown Bear let’s go up ta Cathedral (http://www.coventrycathedral.org.uk/wpsite/), oh isn’t it grand? Not seen anything this impressive since Flamingoland. Oh now then, what’s this, a mini dance festival, oh it’s for kids, move on lad, move on.
So here we are, Herbert art gallery and museum (http://www.theherbert.org/), good size building, loads of pictures and entertainment, an elements room but by heck they could have at least had the elements represented in each section, I felt nothin’ but cold, oh mind me nips they’ll take your eye out. Now what’s this? History of the planet, bloody heck they got everything even when Jurassic Park officially open, HAHA look at that the invention of Viagra, you sure this is for kids, lad?
Well bend me over backwards and call me Rita, they got a children’s TV his-story section, what’s this 60s crap, I weren’t born then so I don’t care, oh look Rosie & Jim, by heck this take me back. Oi Brown bear get in booth and put your hand up Sooty, smile for Camera now.
Right now, let’s go for walk ta Swanswell Park and have lunch, bugger my feet, you get tired there kid? Ooh Pass us a wotsits. Look at Gucci Grandma over there in gold sequin and chaps thank god they aren’t assless, oi luv no feeding ducks and swans, you not read sign over there?!
Come on lad get to suppin’ and we’ll get to transport museum (http://www.transport-museum.com/). Oh look at café, they got everything, ooo white chocolate mousse, milk chocolate mousse, dark chocolate mousse and CHERRY ON TOP, by heck get me one of those with a pint, AAHH!! I’ve never seen so many cars unused, it’s in good nick, you just need a crank and coal and you’re int business!! Oooh nice, good, ummm yeah, lots of cars, we need to get the British car industry back, bloody Rovers!!
Now then what’s this? A speed simulator let’s go for it then, WHAT? £5 you must be jokin’ luv, Brown Bear pay up! Well that wer' .. interesting, if I wanted to learn about speed and feel like I’m there, I’d watch top gear and get you to rock the arm chair for 2 minutes, oh well a bit of fun!
Ooohh look at that Laday Go-diva in clock tower, she looks like that blow up doll we found it back of our Graham’s van when he did my niece’s paint job, poor cow is still can’t look at him!
END of TALK!
So back to normal, hope you enjoyed, my audio clip will be released soon!
After all that, it was a good day out, we even went for a nice meal in the Ramada thanks to the good guys at Groupon got a 50% off food bill deal but still worth it! (http://www.stresarestaurants.com/)
There is more to this story however it gets “private” after 11pm…….GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!!