*Marvin from 2011, jumps into the scene* WOOO WOOOOAAHHHH, you can't just end the blog like that!!
“Oh my god, what you doing here? Why do I insist on writing you characters in when
I just want to go eat a biscuit and play Splatoon?!?”
“Hey you old bitch, you know you owe it to your fans to give them the most honest 360 review of where ever you go, even if you’ve
been to that place before, hhmmm?”
“Don’t you passive aggressivel hhmmm me, Mister!”
“AAHHHH SHHHUUUTTTT UP! Anyway readers just because today’s
Marv is a bit tired looking and dead inside, seriously dude sort out that beer gut and grey hair patch, you’re a WRECK! You can still have fun in Brussels, I came here in 2011 with my mate Scott, who had been so nice to me after my break up with “who
cannot be mentioned here” I decided to treat him. BBBUUUTTT admittedly, I didn’t do my homework like old man dark winter here, I just booked the cheapest and prettiest place and it turned out to be in the red light district and you saw a whore
stumble into an old ford escort within 4 mins of being there. I can’t remember the name of the hotel but just look at any hotel that looks like a fancy brothel in the 1000 postcode and we probably stayed there! When you book a place, use google maps
and see the name of shops nearby to gauge the neighbourhood, best tip ever”
“Jeez I remember that, we remarked on how clean her knickers were!”
“Do you also remember you
had a lot of fun heading to the Atomium (http://atomium.be)"
“How are you adding hyperlinks in your speech?”
not now I’m talking, here’s some keys go play with those”
“Anyhoo, The Atomium is a cool place, it’s an artistsy photographer’s wet
dream, so much abstract art, and angler architecture and you get to nerd out with all the history & art of the country. There’s also a mini theme park nearby I think it’s for kids but after 3 11% beers you won’t care.
Plus that’s where Scott took that picture of you where you look like a slightly demented Idris Elba which you use as your instagram profile pic cos you think you still look hot but in reality you need to hibernate. Also
you had an epic night, please note I'm from 2011 so the word epic wasn’t a thing, I used it first!
And you went round the tourist area near grand place, and you had that “it’s not strong but
totally is” Kiwi & Strawberry beer and took Scott to that restaurant where the meal came to £90 and you felt bad so had to fork out as you didn’t listen to Scott’s caution about there being no price on the menu, again best tip,
no price, no entrance when it comes to eateries….. oooohhh and the chocolate factory, go there!!”
“Oh crap I forgot about all that, aww I miss Scott, I should call him to see how he is”
“I wouldn’t, your breath smells”
“I’ll be calling him on the phone, muppet”
“No your breath is that bad, I’m surprised
the phone won’t melt”
“OOOOOOOO, someone dropped their sausage in the campfire”
faithful readers, I’ll close ON this, if you are on a business trip you can stay anywhere there’s the best tram and underground system to grace any european city for pretty much every main street and things are expensive, bring a credit card or
remortgage! But take a friend and a sense of adventure to really enjoy it, remember Burges and Antwerp are a short train ride away, they are more colourful, friendly and the Burges chocolate factory is excellent. Main tip for brussels just head to the Grand
Place and go down the 8 off routes and make your own journey