One Thing I forgot to mention was Keswick town itself, it’s very “English”, like everything is Tudor or Stewart and quite expensive, it’s has a homely feel to the place and easy to get round, there’s even a market on during
the day and if you go with Andy you will need to hustle him along as he’ll be engrossed by a toy that stands and falls by itself, seriously the man can’t let it go!
I beg anyone that reads this and wants to visit to Mrs F’s Fine Food
Emporium, (https://www.facebook.com/Mrs-Fs-Fine-Food-Emporium-762773977115328/ ), if you like cake, knitting and roaring 1920’s flapper jazz, you’ll fir right
in, may remind you of Linda La Hughes “Are you a fan of … SCAT?” (high five to anyone that gets that reference).
There’s also a boat service for the lake known as Derwentwater, it’s £11 for a 50 min
round trip and its a tranquil and restful ride but you can get off and do some of the walks that are available at different points, you can go to the top of the mountains and look down on the wimps who didn’t brave the saunter that day. Now I know I
shouldn’t take the mick but every trip I seem to go on lately there’s always a lady who has the most magical and indescribable hair in view, today’s lady, was this one, the caramel coffee barnet. I know but she doesn’t beat the lady
from Bulgaria, the one whose hair was the same as the fleece hat she was wearing, she’s still the Queen.
While you are there you need to spot these people in the town as no matter where you go in a tourist area you will spot them:
- The Stressed family, where the husband is leading the wife and kids in the wrong direction and the wife is getting irate at the kid who had too much sugar and the husband who is glued to is map/phone
- The Japanese/Chinese/Korean
tourists who take pictures of everything, i know it sounds racist but it’s actually true, only difference is the Japanese are more like to the peace sign and jump if its a famous sight (I want to know if that’s what the border control in Japan
say to the leavers and say”You must jump and squeal wherever you go otherwise we only have Toyota and Pokemon left to our name, WE ARE A FUN NATION, NOW GO!!”)
- The expressive American Couple/Family - on our trip we had to them visit the
local Gelato place and they were like (say this is a Phoebe voice): “Oh that GELATO place, it’s awesome, I had banana yesterday, what did you want Honey?” “Oh Greg, that banana was nice, I had toffee yesterday but I’ll have it
again” “Oh Honey you are crazy” “ I know right” “you gonna have banana again?” “ I sure am, maybe I should have something different” “ Oh dear but you like banana” “I know right,
Should I mix the flavours?” OH DEAR GOD, Just live wildly for once, get a banoffee ice cream, lick both sides, kiss and move on, I’m sure even now they are at that Gelato place praising the ice cream like Wonder Woman and missed their flight to
- The mandatory gay couple and lesbian tourist couple who see each other but don’t want to acknowledge there are other gays/lesbians as they wanted to feel awkwardly special “we’re the temporary gays in this village” for
that one week (yes that was us Andy and those lezzas in the pub down the road)
- The British Woman with the M&S Scarf but pretends it’s from Harrods, who seems to be louder and posher than the local but you can imagine her driving a Nissan
Micra when no one is around.
There’s loads more to talk about but I found out a few weeks ago when booking that I’m only 2 hours away from the place so I’ll do more blog and more activate, this was just the taster.
So Cheery Bye, Pip Pip and all that Jazz :0) x <- that's not a kiss it's a bowtie!!